so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
