I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
