I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
