he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
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There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
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You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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