Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
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I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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