UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
