Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
