You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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