you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
