You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
