I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
