yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize