Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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