I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I lost the right to judge tonight
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
