You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
