no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!