he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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