Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO