just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style