god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
and i looked up. we had an audience...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
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I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
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i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid