It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml