i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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