Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize