party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
