Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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