i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
