It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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