dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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