if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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