I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Randomize
