Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
