I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So. Much. Porn.
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