I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
