sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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