All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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