They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
