I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
