i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
