Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
