Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
