There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
this hospital has no fireball
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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