He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
