I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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