im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
