Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
