I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
did you just send me my own nude
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
