Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
