every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
