she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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