hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize