Kiss
Puke
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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