This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
