I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
