so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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