Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
