Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
