you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize