I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
