There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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