i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
