Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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