Need sex. Gaining weight.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
