Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
