Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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