So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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