Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
