Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
